June 19th, 2016
Don’t wait all week for Friday, all year for summer, your whole life for happiness. Peace is present right here and now, in ourselves and in everything we do and see. Every breath we take, every step we take, can be filled with peace, joy, and serenity. The question is whether or not we are in touch with it. We need only to be awake, alive in the present moment
-Thích Nhât Hanh + Buddhist Origin
If you’re reading this, you’re probably assuming I’m one of those. The ones who idolize their future life + dream husband + angel kiddos. Technically, it’d be a lie to say I don’t look forward to the beautiful things in life but I don’t make it my life per say. I’m way out of my comfort zone for writing this but I figured why not, it’s something we all wonder. I wanted to jot it down, especially since my thoughts are constantly in a whirlwind. Here’s an open letter to my future husband, can’t promise you won’t be undoubtedly creeped out or think I’m insane.
Dear future husband (Hubs, Love, Baby Boo Bop, w/e),
I don’t know if you’re roaming through Europe learning new cultures or roaming through your buddy’s kitchen struggling to make a sandwich. Whatever it is you’re doing at the moment, I hope you’re living with a peace of mind and life is treating you well. I haven’t met you yet and who knows when I will but I did want to write a letter to you. What did my twenty-one year old self want to tell you? Well. To start off, congrats! You were something I never thought could happen, I can’t decide which ice cream flavor I want, let alone a life partner. Maybe you swayed me with your charm during a night on the town or maybe an unexpected run in at a coffee shop made me in awe. Who knows what you pulled but you deserve a gold star. I hope we’re able to connect in ways I could never before with anyone else, I think they call it soul mates. I want us to truly listen and understand each other, I don’t want raging hurtful fights. I could deal with silly nonsense bickering over if I’m going to watch The Bachelor or you’re going to watch the Real Madrid game. By the way, you’d definitely end up watching The Bachelor. Or I might end up watching the Real Madrid game beyond my free will.
Don’t stop challenging me, you probably showed me this side that makes me want to be the best I can be. I don’t want us to base our life on each other, just because you have a new addition doesn’t mean I want you to stop pursuing your dreams and ambitions. I’ll encourage you and support you through your best decisions and laugh with you at your worst. I don’t want us to stop valuing each other because we’re used to the concept of marriage. It’s not a one and done deal, It’s something we will work on forever. I want to still go on dates to the cute Italian place down the street when I’m 70, romance should never die. I don’t want us to stop loving one another as time goes on. I will still love you with your morning breath and bed head hair, if not be madly in love with you. Getting gray hair and wrinkles? We’ll have our own version of The Notebook. I want to show our future kids that love is real, it doesn’t get lost over time. I don’t know if I’ll be your first love but I do hope to be your last. I want to live a wholesome life with you filled with respect, value, love and integrity. Last but not least, I want you to know I appreciate you. You accepted me and loved me for who I am and that’s all we can really ask for.
Okay, I’ve probably said this at least 101 times in my lifetime and I never truly understood the meaning. It sounds self-explanatory but is it really as blunt as it sounds. Does finding yourself mean getting your life together in terms of schooling, career choice and future decisions. Maybe it’s recognizing morals and life choices you want to start abiding by. Or is it more finding your own personal self-worth and realizing who you are? And if that’s so, why is it that you have to lose yourself to find yourself? The answers are probably as endless as the questions itself. I might be the only one who tosses this phrase around whenever I want an out, the easy and effortless way.
I’m living an unfavorable and colorless life? “I’m gonna go find myself.” Blah Blah Blah? “Sorry, Can’t. I’m Finding Myself”. It’s my personal phrase scapegoat.
This phrase came to be such a thing. Even if we do believe we’re finding ourselves, We assume for a tiny period of time if we try new things, look at new perspectives and live life differently; It’ll reprogram our whole brain. We believe we’ll find ourselves doing things and acting a certain way we feel is appropriate for us. At the end of it all, we still come up empty-handed. The real question is, How do you actually find yourself? I don’t think there’s one definite answer that’s set in stone. It all depends on the eyes of the beholder. For me, I’m obviously lost in the world of the meaning but after truly pondering on the idea, I have my own assumptions.
Finding Yourself Meaning #2975
You don’t have to lose yourself to find yourself but I personally wouldn’t care to explore my soul unless something makes me drastically rethink. You have to be in terms with who you are now and accept it. You might not adore all your traits but it’s you. Let go of your inner ego/critic. In addition to your inner ego/critic, let go of negative vibes that take the form of people. Finding yourself isn’t a one man show. Valuing family and friends is huge. By connecting with loved ones with the traits you practice, it’s you. Whether through anger, compassion, happiness and/or excitement. Family is forever and friends are selected exclusively by you. You choose the friends you relate to but to me, friends don’t define who you are. Cherish family and friends, they’re meaningful lifelong relationships that feed the soul. You have to think about what you want out of this short, sweet life. Basically, what’s your life worth? To you. What do you truly want over all the other distractions. Losing focus on goals is a no. Vice Versa, living life on repeat is a bore. Being 80 years old on a rocking chair, I want to be proud of not just my life achievements but also on the memories. Live extravagant and wild. Live with drive and determination. Live effortless and simplistic. Live generously and respectfully. You take many forms, don’t limit yourself to one.
From being the study worm dedicating her hours at Fondren library maintaining her 4.0 or the one binge watching sex and the city through her 8am lecture, we all intertwine one way or another. The girl who spends hours on contouring to run into the guy she’s been social media stalking since monday compared to the girl who can’t wait to meet her girls at Nobu for catching up on who just got publicly shamed. We all have different mantras but we also all intertwine through our college existence. For the “best years of our life” it doesn’t come so easy, I wish I was handed a rulebook instead of my econ. syllabus. I decided half way through the years of sleepless nights due to hundreds of irrelevant essays and midterms, wasting time on texts I never got and debating what’s worth losing yourself for, to create regimen for us that would be the key to show that living in regret or a daze would not be the end of the world.
- GPA doesn’t define you:
Whether you have perfect attendance and moved into the library dosed up on a stimulant (or expressos) in attempt to keep a 4.0 will mentally destroy you. GPA is a large factor in your college career don’t get me wrong, but basing your life on it could push you back two steps behind rather than two steps forward. You can still have a plan to UT Southwestern or Dedman School of Law but reinvent your weaknesses to strong points. Regardless what your plans are after these next four years they are based on the person you grew to be rather than the precise number on your resumé.
- Defining what’s temporary:
Till this day we all stay hopeful through every situation but always get the same end result that things change. Remember when your mom could spot your fake friends from a mile away and she was always right. We might of not been born with that instinct but there are red flags that we choose to avoid. That one friend who chooses a night out with that one boy she met in the hallway over that night you couldn’t of needed her more should’ve switched the light bulb in your brain. Temporary isn’t forever and forever isn’t temporary.
If you’re going into college assuming you’re going to meet the one, prepare to be screwed over. College isn’t the fishbowl where you’re going to find another fish in the sea, it’s where you go to explore yourself. We as girls get caught up in finding love and don’t even realize what we are missing out on. Trust me when I say it will come to you when you’re not looking for it. Plus, College boys are almost as mature as your 12 year old cousin. Not saying it’s impossible to find the one and boys are the enemy but don’t treat them as a priority.
- College festivities:
Social standards aren’t based on how many party invites you got or didn’t get, it’s about how many parties you’ve been too (totally kidding). If you’re worried about judgement from the poker faced girls in the corner, you’re not living for yourself. Forget who’s watching and be whoever you want to be. This might be the only time we get to make countless mistakes without having to be accountable for them. We should take these good times to not only have a story to tell in a few years but a piece of who defines us later on. On the other side of the spectrum, college festivities aren’t everything. They could not be your thing and that’s totally fine, it’s not mandatory to go. It doesn’t classify you as dull and it never will.
- Freshman fifteen:
You aren’t subject to your moms cooking anymore so devouring on bomb tacos from the shack down the block is acceptable in my terms. The midnight binging on oreos and hot cheetoes due to whatever is ACCEPTABLE too. I’m not saying do it every second of everyday because diabetes might be in your near future but don’t kill yourself from temptation. Remember what we learned in elementary, the basics of balance. Working out a couple days a week and a few temptations won’t make you want to break the mirror. Our weight is always fluctuating and gaining a couple of pounds isn’t so bad but hopefully it ends up in the right places.
She could have the body of a sports illustrated model, kim k’s butt and Kylie Jenners lips but you have you. You’re not going to get sympathy from eye stalking what you want and can’t have. Little do you know, somebody is comparing themselves to you. It’s a never-ending cycle we need to quit. It’s time to be content. Don’t depend on somebody to make you comfortable with yourself or just push the notion all together and remain self conscious. Rep it.
You’re hitting date #3 within two weeks and it’s been nothing but laughs and googly eyes. Trotting into your room on cloud nine assuming there’s date #4 and a fulfilled weekend ahead of you. Sunday rolls around and your phones blowing up, only by the girls group chat. The major mistake is you assuming wedding bells in the near future while he used it as a distraction. Dates could lead to somewhere or nowhere. On the other side, just because you’re not looking for someone doesn’t mean that one date couldn’t started something wonderful either.
We want to make the most of these years but a trip to paris or a semester abroad in spain could really mold you into being well rounded. Traveling is what our souls need and almost essential. If you’re on a college girl budget but you’re deprived of a vacation, do a road trip with the girls. Try not spending every spring break in cabo and explore new places. I mean what’s not to like when shopping for traveling necessities is the best part.
You’re going to be 4 years older and hopefully wiser by the end of this experience. Don’t rush it to just finally be able to not sneak into places and be embarrassed of your baby face. You’ll realize by year 4 the adrenaline rush was the best part and having a baby face could be your biggest blessing. Age is just a number, it’s how you spend your days in those numbers are how it counts. Give or take these are the golden days, they’re only the start of the purpose of our lives.
Memories are built from the days that give you shivers of embarrassment to the days you wish could be on repeat. These are the years we remember most because it’s what breaks you from childhood to the real word. Even with the countless memories, don’t remember college as your peak. It was a beautiful part of your life but it’s not all of it. Even if it wasn’t what you expected, when you switch your tassle to the other side you’ll realize what college was worth.
February 29th, 2016
Starve the ego, feed the soul.
Something I’ve yet to live by
Two years ago I decided to switch in the straightener, curlers and hot tools for a blow dryer and a round brush. I was a victim of dry lifeless hair (infomercial tone). All I wanted was Pantene commercial-like locks. That’s when I realized a blow out kit was my new best friend. A few YouTube videos on “how to do your own blowout” and I was set. What drew me in to get dry bar was their darling buttercup yellow shade for their kit but also how it works like a charm. Their products (hot toddy, triple sec) added shine + body. The round brush and clips created the duration of my blow dry short and sweet. The blow dryer itself weighs a feather and 1/2 so my hands weren’t dead weights by 10 minutes in. Instead of spending money on getting it professionally blown out, invest in this.
- Blowouts last longer (typically 3-4 days)
- Full voluminous hair vs. Dull helmet head hair
- Healthier for your hair overall
- Takes a longer amount of time than using hot tools
- Uses additional arm movement (also a benefit because you are developing baby arm muscles)
To me, the benefits outweigh the cons but that just might be because I’m a strong believer in a beautiful blowout. Don’t get me wrong, I still adore my wands and straighteners. I would just rather have some oomph, you know?